Healthy Dating In Recovery
Dating in Recovery is a topic that comes up often in 12 step meetings. One of the most common rules of thumb is simply this: Don’t date. Could it really be that cut and dry? Recovery never “ends,” but most people can’t stay single forever. How long should they wait to start dating again. Should they date just anyone?
After completing treatment, recovering addicts should wait a minimum of three or four months to start dating again. Many need longer. It’s not a matter of time, but of emotional stability. That’s trickier than it sounds. Part of recovery is experiencing dramatic boosts in confidence – sometimes too dramatic.
Healthy Dating In Recovery
Relationships cause emotional turmoil even for regular people. For recovering addicts trying to avoid relapse, they’re like mine-fields. Before jumping into a relationship, run the idea by your sponsor, your therapist, or someone else involved in your treatment aftercare. Hear them out, no matter how much it hurts. They might just zap you back to earth.
If you do decide to date, make sure you and your partner share the same top priority: your sobriety. Even an overall happy relationship can trigger relapse.Sometimes painful decisions must be made. If you and your partner are constantly bickering, or if he or she drinks or smokes around you, the relationship has to go.
If you’re getting to know someone, don’t keep your past a secret. You may not be an addict anymore, but you’ll always be in recovery. Your partner can’t go out of his or her way to help you fight through your addiction if they don’t even know about it.
Pitfalls of Dating in Recovery
Say you do relapse: Does that mean you should break up with your partner, for his or her own good? Not necessarily. A relapse doesn’t necessarily mean someone wasn’t ready for normal life (jobs, children, relationships, etc). Recovery is a bumpy road. Slips happen. Many addicts swerve into full-blown relapse and land themselves back at square one, but some others manage to regain control. If you’ve vowed to stay sober despite your setback, and your partner wants to stick around and continue to help, there’s no need to object.
Keep in mind that just because you’re is happy and sober doesn’t mean your partner has a responsibility to date you forever. Never hold your condition against them. At the end of the day, you want someone whom you make happy, not a co-dependent partner whose perception of happiness revolves around yours.
Ready to get your life back by seeking recovery from addiction?
Contact Blueprints for Recovery at (888) 744-9969 today to learn about your treatment options.