If you want to free yourself from an addiction, you have to be in a good mental state. That doesn’t mean the people who wronged you in the past are suddenly justified; it just means that you’re going to have to forgive them, whether you like it or not. You can’t afford to be resentful, and you certainly can’t be angry.
WHY DO DRUG ADDICTS AND ALCOHOLICS REFUSE TO FORGIVE?
Because forgiveness is one of the hardest things we have to do in life. It goes against the gut—at first. If someone hurt you, stole from you, or verbally abused you, it feels downright wrong to forgive. But life isn’t fair. You aren’t punishing them, you’re only punishing yourself.
Anger wreaks havoc on the mind and body
Healthcare literature can verify this. Stress overload leads to illness. It also leads to reckless behavior. The mind-body connection cannot be overstated. Anger is stressful, no doubt about it—probably the most stressful emotion you can feel.
Resentment and anger go hand-in-hand
Resentment is the refusal to forgive, ever, and only anger can cause that. When you hold onto an infuriating situation, you make it repeat itself every day. After a while, you may be angrier at the constant, aching thoughts than at the person him or herself—and you don’t even know it. The fact of the matter is this: By being angry, you’re putting yourself at risk for relapse. Cravings themselves don’t come totally out of nowhere—not after going through detox and rehab. Relapse starts when someone transcends to an emotional state in which relapse becomes a danger. Usually, that state is stress. And the most common cause of stress is anger.
Anger is a broad emotion
In a sense, it encompasses jealousy, rage, and, most notably, depression. We tend not to think of clinical depression as a state of anger, but anger and depression go hand-in-hand. When we’re depressed, we’re angry at ourselves.
Often times, in order to move past an enraging event, we have to remove the person who caused it from our lives. Sometimes that can be painful, because you may not hate that person all around. An ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, for example, may be a real friend to you—but you just can’t shake the messy breakup out of your head. You need space, and that doesn’t make you a terrible person, nor does it mean he or she is a terrible person.
They’re just not the right person for you, right now. You’re healing, and you have to take it easy. When you feel like you’re in a better place, perhaps, you can come back and try again. In fact…that’s the whole goal. Time apart can make for a much more fruitful relationship in the future. On the flip-side, if it turns out that, no, you shouldn’t rekindle with that person, everyone is a lot better off.
We can help you figure these things out, one step at a time. Call (888) 744-9969 for reliable, emotional help with your recovery.